Desperation
by Stoona
Summary: Lelouch has fallen and now it is up to Suzaku to help him... if Suzaku would notice. Warnings: Yaoi SuzaLulu, Self-injury Now complete with 5 endings!
1. Prologue

_Warnings__: AU fic! This means there is probably going to be some OOC-ness, though I am trying to make everyone as in-character as possible given the storyline (And I am horrible at keeping people in own personalities, they live in my mind so their outlook on life changes). If I start to make any character drastically/annoyingly OOC just let me know and I'll correct it, though if it is specific or dire to the storyline it is not being changed YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Right now there is cutting._

_Disclaimer__: I don't own Code Geass. Obviously, if I did… (evil laughter) _

Rate & Review: No flames, I have no beta, feel free to give me ideas

Notes on the world and people: Lelouch, Nunnally, and Rolo are siblings who live in Japan to hide themselves from the current political warfare that is going on with some unknown country.

Britannia and Japan are allies, Minister Genbu Kururugi is still alive, and Euphemia is currently befriending Japan's Prime Minister's Son Suzaku Kururugi.

Suzaku, who has been friends with the three Lamperouge (vi Britannia) siblings from when the where taken into protective custody, is trying to become more involved in the vi Britannia's business, he has noticed a change in his raven friend.

Sayoko and Jeremiah are looking after the Lamperouge family.

* * *

(Mental torture? Yes, this is what may happen when a character visits my mind… poor Lelouch. What in the world happened to you? Oh… right, me and this terror I call my mind.)

(No, I am not implying that Suzaku is not very good at noticing things, it's just a matter how concerned and focused he is on pleasing Lelouch, that he has not noticed the signs of Lelouch's madness *cough* self-injury habit.)

* * *

Desperation- Prologue

Lavender eyes watched transfixed, fascinated, as the crimson liquid fell from his bicep. Pain had dulled by now and he just felt tired, like his actions had taken more out of him then it should have. The water of his bath had turned icy and the shutter that followed warned him that he would pay dearly for his time in the water. He noticed how pale his skin was now and knew that even before he had gotten in that he was coming down with something, but his thoughts turned back inwards as he hid the shining razor blade away once again.

_Always… always with her, isn't he? I should have known better… with him; he was always like that, willing to help someone in need like he did with me. I really am a freak…one who should not exist-_

He jumped as a knock brought him back to reality, his self degradation interrupted. "Lelouch? Are you alright? Nunnally, Rolo, and I were getting worried." The voice was light and gentle, but filled with concern.

_He should not be concerned with a freak like me. _He thought as the answer he prepared was said reassuringly, smiling a brittle, soul wrenching smile as his dull eyes started back at him in the mirror."I am fine Suzaku, I will be down in a few minutes. I didn't think that I was in here long enough to cause worry." He heard the knob rattle as Suzaku tried to open the door. _He doesn't believe me does he?_ "Suzaku are you trying to take a peek? I am taking a bath after all. Pervert." He added as an afterthought and chuckled. The spluttering he heard from outside was well worth the sudden pain that came with his amusement and he doubled over in pain, his breathe coming hard and painful dry painful coughs came to bare.

"Lelouch!" Suzaku quickly stopped his indignant curses when he heard coughing. "Lelouch, you are not feeling well are you? Don't bother lying, I noticed your skin color earlier and I know it means that you coming down with something, now can you open this door or shall I go get Sayoko?" he hated it when Lelouch was sick, especially recently, it had been taking Lelouch longer to recover than normal and it concerned him.

"No need, I am getting out now Suzaku." He said weakly as he unstopped the plug letting the crimson water flow down. Lelouch waited for the water to drain completely and noticed that Suzaku had walked away, most likely to get the key he needed. Sighing, he stood up slowly as to make sure that he did not fall and stepped out. There was a full-length mirror on his right side showing his cut to the world, he would have to take care of that before Suzaku came back. Numbly he put on his bathrobe, shakily, glad that the cut had stopped bleeding as he tied the robe carefully. Other scars were covered with the robe, he did not need anyone to know or see them. Footsteps returned and he heard the key in the lock, then the click of the tumblers setting into place.

"Lelouch? Are you decent, now?" Suzaku's voice drifted through the room, but it did not register is his fogged mind for the world was spinning as floor came up to greet him.

* * * * * *

Outside the door Suzaku heard the silent thud and before his mind could completely register what had happened he was in the room and clutching a trembling Lelouch. Grasping tightly, his heart clenched when he realized how cold the body in his arms was. His hand grasped over Lelouch's upper arm, right where the cut was. Brushing ebony locks away from the ashen face, he hissed as he noticed how hot the skin beneath his fingertips was. Lavender eyes stared at him, quietly, waiting for him to stop his babbling that he did not even realize he had started. "Lelouch…" His voice trembled as he brought his fore head to rest on a cloth clad shoulder.

"Suzaku, you're hurting me…" His voice was unsteady, small, distant, and he was having a little trouble.

"Oh! Sorry Lelouch." Sheepish puppy dog smile, and moved the hand that was gripping Lelouch's thin upper arm. _He's lost weight. This isn't good. _Lifting the underweight teen up, he walked out of the bathroom and to Lelouch's bed setting him down. He knew it was bad when his friend did not even protest being picked up.

If he had been paying more attention he would have noticed the blood that was starting to seep through the thick fabric. If he had been paying attention he would have noticed how defensive and irritable Lelouch had been recently. If he was attentive he would have noticed that the full length mirror was disturbed and did not stand up straight, but he wasn't so he didn't note such trivial things such as wound, one sign of depression, and the hiding place for the razors stained crimson.

"Do you need anything?" Lelouch blinked slowly at him, and then shook his head. Suzaku frowned and went back into the bathroom and Lelouch felt the stab of panic that he had left something in plain sight. "You should really dry yourself off Lelouch. I know that your bathrobe is warm and all, but I do not believe that it will help if your body is wet." Before Suzaku reemerged Lelouch managed to sit up and turn his body so prying emerald eyes would not see the blood, he was glad that the dizziness had passed or he would not be able to think as clearly as he did.

"Suzaku… I am fine." He knew that reasoning with him was not a good idea especially when his body was betraying him. _This cursed body of mine cannot even take a hot bath. _To be more specific, it was a scalding hot bath that cooled down drastically with how long he was in there.

"You are anything but fine, your body is freezing to the touch and you have a fever on top of that!" He glared at the black raven who sat shaking in the middle of his bed when he entered the room carrying his other robe and a few towels. "For someone so smart you certainly forgetful Lelouch, making yourself cold does not help it just makes you shiver and that raises the core body temperature-"

"I know Suzaku, it was warm when I went in." Suzaku took one of the towels that he had grabbed and started to towel dry ebony hair.

"That was twenty minutes ago, Lelouch you were thinking weren't you?" he watched as his raven haired companion flinched. "I knew it, Lelouch take off that robe and let me help you into your other one."

"No." Sharp, biting, he flinched at his friend's tone, he sounded so defensive.

"Lelouch you can't stay in that one." He pleaded.

"I am not helpless, Suzaku." He knew that tone Lelouch was being stubborn and no one would change his mind.

"Alright, I will leave the robe here and be back in a few minutes. Don't over exert yourself." Suzaku gave a pointed look stating that if he did not listen he would regret it. Lelouch sighed, he only felt numb nothing else, and even if he was able to feel the sickness that was in his body he would not care.

_I am a monster, I love a man. I love someone other than a Britannian, father would be disappointed. I am an ugly being, I am horrible. I am not loved. No one cares about me. I am numb to everything. I am useless, can't even run for a few meters._

He changed indolently, putting the other in a basket to be taken care of later, and bandaged the wound that he had made earlier with supplies from a hiding spot near the bed. Suzaku found him later sleeping peacefully; he tucked him in and left. If he had stayed longer he would have of found that Lelouch was not having a peaceful sleep, but a terror filled one.

* * * * * *

"Nii-chan isn't doing too well is he?" A young girl with flowing chestnut brown hair asked quietly; she was worried about her older brother as was the two other people at the table. It had been five days since Suzaku had been with Lelouch. Suzaku had found out later that Lelouch was suffering from a fever that was brought on from the cold bath he took and how he had been neglecting himself for a bit, but that was long enough for this to happen.

"He is still recuperating." Rolo stated stiffly, he hated seeing his brother pale and sleeping, it reminded him of a corpse.

"Sir Kururugi?" Sayako's sweet voice reached is ears and he turned to give her his full attention. "If you wouldn't mind would you help me with Lelouch-sama?" Suzaku nodded briefly excusing himself from the table and followed the maid into the kitchen. He could have sworn he saw Rolo and Nunnally exchange small smalls.

"What do you need me to do?"

"If you would feed him it would be much appreciated." His breathe breath caught in his throat; he had been unable to see Lelouch since he was called away, helping with various duties was annoying at times especially when he was concerned for his friend.

"Are you sure?" Sounding like an overexcited puppy was his forte, Sayoko smiled a small secretive smile.

"Yes, I believe that the best medicine for him right now is you."

_Please Sir Kururugi, help Master Lelouch. He is torturing himself. He will not stop until his body stops whatever it is doing to cause this to happen. It will sadden everyone if he is gone. _She knew, but she had told no one. Knowing as she did how dangerous it was to interfere in this, she had stayed mainly out of it, only offering her services for medical attention, and swearing that she would tell no one of his secret. Now, as Suzaku scurried to help Lelouch, she knew that she would have to pull some rather obvious signs out of hiding just to make him realize what Lelouch was doing.

* * * * * *

_I am waiting for the river's tide to lower down before I will try again. _

_**What? You don't want to kill yourself in this state?**_

_No…_

_**I am sure Sayoko would happily clean up after you. It is not like she needs you for anything. You are just a nuisance.**_

_No I am not…_

_**She caught you during your sin, she saw your secret, she knows you are not who you pretend to be. Such a disgusting mask.**_

_Not true…_

_**And what of your bloodline? You are nothing more than a prince who was thrown out of the palace on the terms of 'protection' your parents have not even tried to contact you. They don't care, you were just a tool that was not of the appropriate age for them to make use of.**_

_That is not true…_

_**Yes it is, you are a cast out prince who has nothing more in his life. Face it, the one who you love is in love with your half-sister. He would find you absolutely revolting if he found out your little secret. He is straight after all and that perfect body of yours is scarred, imperfect, he would never want it anyway. **_

_Leave me alone… Suzaku… help…_

**He will not help you, he doesn't care. Stay here with me or get out of this world.**

* * * * * *

...Well?


	2. Chapter 1: I Will Not Leave

_Warnings__: AU fic! This means there is probably going to be some OOC-ness, though I am trying to make everyone as in-character as possible given the storyline (And I am horrible at keeping people in own personalities, __they live in my mind so their outlook on life changes__). If I start to make any character drastically/annoyingly OOC just let me know and I'll correct it, though if it is specific or dire to the storyline it is not being changed YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Right now there is cutting._

_Disclaimer__: I don't own Code Geass. Obviously, if I did… (evil laughter) _

Rate & Review: No flames, I have no beta, feel free to give me ideas (I do not have this prewritten so it is fine)

Thank you to the reviewers:

Asami-chan37- The lack of Self-injury in CG is very annoying when I love how they recover or they never do… this may have two endings... and you enjoyed my writing style that makes Stoona so happy that she shall try her best for you. Asami-chan!

dhyetaX1999- You are correct, that is how Zero exists… if you have not figured it out. Stoona thought that it was kind of obvious. _**Bold **_is Zero. Hmm… psycho!Lelouch…

Jugularpiercer- You think Stoona has potential? Thank you! Stoona will warn you that she has only written two or three lemons before and if Stoona does the rating will change to Mature, but that will be when Lelouch cooperates.

Insane Blood Prince-…Stoona guesses she needs to work on her portrayal of Zero, Lelouch's *cough* Lelouch!

_I gave you something to work with so do not spoil it._

Thank you Lelouch!

Sir Banana six-tea-phoar- Stoona is so glad that you enjoyed it… she did not know that she was writing angst material…

…_In your mind? Yes there is I… I have… Someone save me… Suzaku…Help! And you do realize that you switched perspectives. _

Yes… Is that annoying? Stoona sorry…

MyColdHeart- I believe that I am continuing… right now

Keychain- That first part sounded surprised in my mind… you were surprised you liked mental torture? Small sensible voice left in him? Not really… all will be explained

Now… Lelouch what should we do?

* * * * * *

Chapter 1- I Will Not Leave Until I get What I Want

"Better?" Suzaku was hovering as Lelouch glared feebly.

"I should be asking you that, I did hurt you after all…" He turned his head, not willing to look upon those bandaged arms. He really did not wish to finish that sentence nor would he ever. _It's all my fault._

"Lelouch, it wasn't your fault. You were in the middle of a nightmare. I should have expected it; you have sharp nails after all. Anyway all that matters is that you are alright now." Suzaku smiled gently as he spoke.

_**He lies…**_

"No, I am not important." He whispered quietly bringing his knees up to his chest. Resting his chin upon their cradle, his bangs curtained his violet eyes keeping them from view.

"Lelouch, how are you feeling anyway? I was told that your fever has gone down. Are you hungry?" he frowned as Lelouch shook his head. "You should eat something Sayoko told me that you haven't had much of an appetite. Are you sure that you aren't coming down with something else?" His voice was concerned, pleading, but not demanding.

"Suzaku I am just tired. That is all, please just let me sleep." His body sagged; he was tired it felt as though someone was wearing away what little defenses he had left.

_**Weak, pitiful, worthless… you can't even stay awake… you are so pitiful. A nuisance that should be taken off of this earth, you are unworthy of living.**_

Lelouch shrank; the voice had been bothering more and more. He knew that he should get help, but that voice convinced him long ago that no one would help such an abominable child such as him. He was surprised when he was surrounded in warmth, comforting as a strangled breath let one word past lips that brushed across his neck, "Don't…"

"Wha-" Confusion was all that he could voice when he was cut off.

"Don't Lelouch, I don't know what is wrong, but this is not how you normally act. Stop avoiding me these wounds are not your fault… I can't even imagine what you were dreaming of. You were sobbing no over and over again… I just couldn't let you continue in that place that caused you such pain."

_**See? You are weak he pities you…**_

"So if these scratches are what the price is for waking you up from that nightmare so be it. I will gladly do it again for you and only you Lelouch. You are so very important to me…" Arms tightened their hold on his curled up body as the raven felt those soft liquid sorrows trickle onto his neck. "I am sorry that I have not been able to see you these past few days… you were in such pain from that fever of yours and don't you dare lie I have known you for seven years and I realize how you body is during an illness." Lelouch wrestled his arms free and slipped his legs open so Suzaku could move into a more comfortable position as he languidly stroked the trembling back.

_**Pity, you are such a disappointment…**_

"Suzaku…" Small, but in a way a comfort, a way to mollify the weeping male in his arms, he returned the embrace albeit weakly. He was a few days rest from being back to his normal stamina.

_Suzaku… why is it that I can't stand it when you are sad? It is because I love him… isn't it?_

_**The love that is such a horrifying sin? And you stamina back to normal that is a laugh you can't even run with your normal stamina.**_

_Who are you? Why are you doing this to me?_

_**I am nothing. I do this because one of us must die and it will not be me.**_

* * * * * *

Suzaku closed the door gently as he left, tray in hand, the door did not quite close. Lelouch had eaten some of the food, but not that much as he would have liked. Now he was sleeping, letting his body recover was all that Suzaku. Sayoko came up to him and took the tray. "Lady Euphemia is here she said that she would come up to talk to you." With that she left, leaving him blinking as he tried to clean up his appearance.

The lithe pink-haired girl approached him when she reached the top of the stairs. Her face was the epitome of worry. "How is he?" Worry, concern that was what she displayed to him, her hands rose to her mouth, she bit at her lip.

Suzaku frowned as he considered how to respond. "Better than he was, he still isn't eating much and he can't seem to stay up too long."

"I see… have you been crying?" One of her hands rose to his cheek.

"A little Lelouch hasn't been acting like himself lately and I broke… I had to tell him that he was worried me." He chucked, but stopped as she placed a small kiss upon the lingering trail.

If they had been paying attention they would have heard the click of the door shutting. The sound itself was ominous, a harbinger of the events to come.

* * * * * *

Lelouch collapsed in the bathroom eyes wide as his mind processed what just happened, body trembling as he turned his thoughts inward.

_He let her kiss him! I let that little hope from those words that I was important to him…_

_**It got the better of you… and now he will be with her. Forever with her. She will have his children. Can't you see the love in her eyes?**_

_No… No… you lie…_

_**But you believe me and now it is my turn.**_

The shaking had stopped and he stood looking the mirror. Eyes that looked redder than violet stared back at him as a confident smirk appeared.

"**One of us must die and it will not be me. Now that I have control I will kill you my tenuous other half." **His eyes flickered over to the other mirror behind it the bloodstained blades sang in glee.

* * * * * *

Stoona is looking at Lelouch, amused: Where did that come from?

Lelouch with dagger: Stay away from me you mad woman. What the hell are you making me do!

Stoona shakes her head: You are the one who gave me the idea, which means you wanted this to happen.

Lelouch dropping dagger in disbelief: No… No… I did not… NOOOO! (Echoes of his denial can be heard throughout the caverns of her mind)

Stoona: It gets better next chapter, though Stoona can't believe you are letting her do this and that to you.

**Stoona thinks that the rating will change next chappy so you may wish to add this to your story alerts or something…**

As of right now:

Story Alerts: 4

Story added to favorites: 6

That makes Stoona so very happy! Now if only her other story would have this type of traffic.

Why did I update at 1 in the morning? Oh right I did not want my plot bunnies or Lelouch to kill me. (Whimpering can be heard)

I think that I may have broken him... if he start saying something about shadows then I know that he is past recovery....


	3. Chapter 2: The Death of One

_Warnings__: AU fic! This means there is probably going to be some OOC-ness, though I am trying to make everyone as in-character as possible given the storyline (And I am horrible at keeping people in own personalities, __they live in my mind so their outlook on life changes__). If I start to make any character drastically/annoyingly OOC just let me know and I'll correct it, though if it is specific or dire to the storyline it is not being changed YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Right now there is cutting._

_**Lemon this chapter!**_

_Disclaimer__: I don't own Code Geass. Obviously, if I did… (evil laughter) _

Rate & Review: No flames, I have no beta, feel free to give me ideas (I do not have this prewritten so it is fine) actually I know where I am going now so it is not okay

Sorry… I don't proofread so there are probably a lot of mistakes.

Thank you to the reviewers:

…No one reviewed? Well I am not exactly leaving much time in between chapter updates now am I? Okay maybe a few days is long enough…

That or I am not living up to expectations.

I just noticed how OOC Lelouch actually is… oh well if he wasn't this story would not be possible.

Keychain! You returned! …You can tell… the Lelouch in my head is begging to be tortured… he likes it… did I mention I love masochists? And I only write down what Lelouch gives me. I guess I love breaking those in my head and then piecing them partially or all the way back together.

Lelouch? Are you alright?

Lelouch: Suzaku help me… please…(meep)

Why are you torturing yourself?

* * * * * *

Chapter 2- The Death of One

"Do think you can handle him for a few hours?" Her voice was soft, gentle, but concerned.

"Yes, he shouldn't be that much trouble." Suzaku chucked, but stopped as he noticed her expression.

"Sir Kururugi… Master Lelouch has been having more problems than you think. I promised him that I would not tell, but… I have a very bad feeling." She started and then continued quietly. "You see Master Lelouch has been suffering from depression and has been cutting himself to make him feel something other than the void inside of him." She had betrayed Lelouch's trust, but if it saved him then she would do it again and really she couldn't help it. Suzaku had been oblivious to any and all signs that she had given him over the past two hours.

"What?" His strangled voice reached her ears as he clasped her shoulders.

"That is not all… he has another personality inside of him, Lelouch calls the persona Zero. This spirit wants him dead."

* * * * * *

…Lelouch? How did Sayoko know?

…

Right… she is super maid how would she not know.

* * * * * *

"Do you understand your orders Q1?"

"Yes, I am to wound, but not kill the son of Prime Minister Genbu Kururugi or wound someone close to his son."

"Correct Q1… do be careful in your sniping."

"Of course, this is going to help us how?"

"It should weaken the ties between Britannia and Japan."

* * * * * *

The scream that escaped his lips seemed to echo through the house. He frantically tried to stop the bleeding of his wrist. The hours that he had spent arguing with Zero, his other half led to this. Zero had finally managed to shove him back enough that Lelouch could do nothing to stop the razor and its dulled blade's swift descent. The one good thing about Zero was he was unused to pain and ultimately gave back control to the self he wanted dead. Pain was a new experience for him and as inexperienced as he was to cutting…

"Lelouch!" Suzaku came rushing in only to stop dead in his tracks as he saw the sight before him.

Lelouch sat legs bent and splayed to the sides of him; crimson blood covered his ivory white bathrobe. Violet eyes were wide and in disbelief as he stammered incoherently. A bloody razor cast in front of him. Tears brought Suzaku back from his shock and he surged forward wrenching the other's wrist from the weak grasp.

"What happened? Lelouch?" He asked soothingly, trying to keep the terror, the panic from his voice. Looking at the wound it was not that deep and did not seem to of hit any important veins. He recalled Sayoko's words _Master Lelouch only cuts… he knows where to cut if he wants to kill himself. If it looks like a cut that would kill him and is not threatening then it will be his other personality trying to kill him._ Suzaku frowned. _Then this other personality did this?_

"I d-di-dn't do this. I swear I didn't do this. Suzaku…" Lelouch stammered as his best friend dressed the wound with such tenderness that he seemed scared to damage his wrist anymore than it was. He felt his stomach twist at the expression that graced that face of the one who he had fallen in love with.

"You weren't trying to kill yourself were you? You are smart enough to know how to kill yourself effectively. It's not serious and the little blood that was spilt was just smeared to make it look worse than it is, you will be fine Lelouch." He smiled looking into Lelouch's terrified features. Why was he hiding his true feelings behind this façade? Underneath he was a ball of terror, afraid of what might become of his childhood friend if this had continued.

_**I failed? I guess I should have been paying more attention when you were researching 'safe cutting.' Oh… and I need to remember to lock that bathroom door. This ends the test run.**_

Lelouch shivered as the deep dark voice spoke with such ardor and sureness in his mind. He knew that he would die soon. "Lelouch! Come now look at me and don't pass out." His friend's voice wavered as his expression finally turned to worry from the previous concern. Though now that Suzaku mentioned it the room was wavering, wait… no it wasn't, the moisture in his eyes just made it appear that way.

"Suzaku…" His voice was strained, why wasn't he looking at him in disgust? Why wasn't he yelling or screaming about he was messed up.

Suzaku hummed gently as he brought the one bandaged wrist to his mouth for a light kiss. "Is something wrong, Lelouch? You look confused."

"Why aren't you…" He trailed off, unsure of how to continue. How to express his true wonderment of what was happening of how his friend, who was more than that to him, was so calm and taking this all in stride, he was truly awed by Suzaku's resolve.

"Just don't do this to me again, alright Lelouch? When I heard you scream I was so scared… no terrified that something had happened to you and that I would lose you. I care too much to lose you over something… that I don't even know about." Once again the position from just a couple hours before was repeated. That cobra like grip around his body was warm and felt so good and it did hurt, but it was worth it to feel his friend so close.

"Why do you care about a monster like me?" He whispered, forgetting how close the brunette's ear was to his mouth.

"You are not a monster Lelouch!" Even thought it was soft it was whispered with such ferocity that he could almost believe it… almost.

"Yes I am Suzaku, don't try to deny it I am disgusting. My body is so weak, I have no stamina, I prefer men, and I have fallen for my best friend-" He froze mid-rant and had a reflective moment.

_Oh crap… I did not just say what I think I just said._

_**Yes… yes you did… enjoy the consequences while you can. I will leave you alone for now. I need my strength to kill you.**_

His other self was going to leave him alone? That was an odd break… now that he thought about it he couldn't breathe that well. Suzaku was hugging him a little too hard.

"You are not weak Lelouch, and I have fallen for my best friend as well so if that is what make a monster then it makes me a monster as well."

Lelouch would have protested, but it was very hard when he had a mouth covering his own. Suzaku pulled away licking his lips. _He tastes like cinnamon… _Lelouch thought dully as he saw the emerald pools above him darken and really with that look on that face all he could do was blush.

"What is that look for Lelouch? Do you know what I want to do to you now that I know you have feelings for me as I do you?" He chuckled as he talked, the body below him shuddered at the huskiness in his voice.

"Devour me?" Lelouch felt rather… daring right now, maybe it was the look in Suzaku's eyes. Or maybe it was the fact that what was usually pulling him down, wounding him was asleep. He felt free, more himself. If this was going to be the consequence for exposing himself as a monster, he may as well enjoy it.

To say that Suzaku growled in agreement would be an understatement; he growled, attacked the mouth that was just too kissable, and well… won, if the moans from the raven were anything to go by.

_Wait… is he mewing?_ Suzaku pulled away from the warm cavern to stare at the flushed panting and most definitely mewing male below him. _Yes… yes he is… he's a cat… I love cats, but they bite me…_

"Maybe we should move to the bedroom?"

* * * * * *

Q1's eyes widened as she saw the two males enter the bedroom. They were tearing into each other.

"Kallen? Is something wrong?" The concerned voice echoed in her ear from the earpiece she was wearing.

"I didn't know that the prime minister's son liked men, Ohgi." Sputtering could be heard on the other end. "I am about to get a show here and I think it would be appropriate to let them finish before I shoot. And my… they are tearing into each other… they're like animals."

"Kallen maybe you shouldn't watch?" A question not a command.

"I can't see the bed from my position so don't worry about it. As long as they make it to the bed." She muttered, why the hell had she accepted this assignment? _You accepted because your family is in danger and that man holds the strings to your lover's success. _Her conscience stated simply. She nodded; as long as she did things correctly no one would die.

* * * * * * (Lemon no plot furthering event here so you may skip if you wish)

The two males tearing into each other did not even think to close the curtains. Lelouch gasped as he was thrown onto the bed. His robe had disappeared somewhere along the way and well the puppy above him had also lost his clothes revealing the well-toned bronze chest and torso. He felt the blood rushing to his head as Suzaku's emerald pools stared distractedly at his arms. _My scars…_

"You like pain don't you Lelouch? " He whispered seductively as he leaned down to kiss the thin white raised scars that covered his upper arms never passing his elbow, but mainly centered on the sensitive flesh of the underside of his too pale skin. "Tell me you do, try to deny it when you have the proof right here. Suzaku nipped lightly at the marks of his misgivings, his fears, and his flaws.

Lelouch cried out arching his body into that too warm chest that heaved with every life giving breathe that it took. "Yes, yes!" he howled out from torn and bruised lips gripping at the bandaged forearms that held his lover up. Bandages that covered up the reminder of the dream where Zero spoke to him, he had been so terrified when he woke up that he had scratched his savior's arms.

"Do you want me to hurt you?" Saying that he was not enjoying Lelouch thrashing and quivering underneath him would be a lie, and for some reason he wanted to hurt the pale body below him. Make it cry out in ecstasy, to leave his mark on this body.

"Yes!" He hissed out as that torturous hot mouth moved to his hardened nipples to suck, lick, and bite. That scorching moist cavern sent sparks of something pain, pleasure, to coil in the lower area of his stomach. Suzaku chuckled as Lelouch ground up against him desperately like a cat in heat. Those actions only served to heighten his desire for his best friend turned lover.

Suzaku moved up to gnaw at that thin porcelain neck then he moved higher to that delicate little ear. "Dry? Do you wish to be touched or suffer?" husky, deep, a resonating sound, a breathe so warm that it sent tingles dancing down his spine as Lelouch worked to make his fuzzy mind work to answer.

"Yes, suffer." He mewed, panted, and latched on to the collarbone, sucking fervently. Suzaku continued to nibble as he parted those pale legs, lifted the bony hips and nudged gently at the tight entrance into his very being. One powerful, well-delivered thrust was all it took to get him into that tight, clinging, heat that trembled around him. He let his head rest on the pillow as burning pain radiated from his collar and back. Cats _always_ bit and or scratched him.

Lelouch whimpered as he tasted the salty, coppery substance in his mouth. He hurt, but at the same time it felt so good. His Suzaku was inside of him, buried so deeply, so intimately that he would bear any pain that was given to him even if it felt like he was being torn apart. Suzaku had the good graces not to move as Lelouch wrapped his legs around him and shifted slightly.

They both groaned. "Lelouch… you are so tight are you trying to suck me in? Do you want me that badly? Do you?" He pulled out partway and slammed back in. Lelouch cried, arching up in ecstasy, scrabbling away at the muscled back of his lover.

"Yes… Su… zaku… more." Lelouch rasped pushing ever so desperately, thrusting trying to get more of that feeling that made his loins tingle and tighten ever so much. Suzaku obliged thrusting, soothing his torn walls, making him mew, scream, cry out his name. Deeper, ramming, sparks when he was hit there, howling. Pants, moans, the scent of sweat, the scent of something primal, sweet, pleasure, pain ecstasy as they moved with each other to further their intimate act, a mantra of Suzaku on his lips. Lost to the world, they were. The heat of their bodies a welcome embrace. The creaks and squeaks of the bed unnoticed.

"Lelouch…" Suzaku sighed as he released thrusting still to further his partner's pleasure. Lelouch screamed his name as the coil broke, releasing his essence on them. Panting heavily, pale skin flushed Lelouch was beautiful for Suzaku. He pulled his limp member out, watching when the raven flinched.

They laid together for a while before Lelouch moved pulling a towel out to clean them up and to pull out two bathrobes for them to wear in the chillness of the room.

* * * * * (End Lemon)

"Lelouch? Is something wrong?" Lelouch had stood and limped to the window. When he didn't answer he got up and stood before Lelouch, his back to the window. Suzaku pulled him into a hug, a tight embrace.

"**He can die happy that he knows that you care for him…" **Dark, ominous, Suzaku started, looking into an evil smirk, redder eyes than violet that seemed to glow. Suzaku did not have a chance to question as he was pushed away.

If Zero had known, he would never have pushed Suzaku away.

Pain burst through his body as glass broke.

* * * * * *

The lemon wasn't that great was it?

That was an absolute pain to write Lelouch would cooperate then he wouldn't and then he was on and then he was off… it was so annoying.

Suzaku: Don't blame Lelouch! He is dying!

Hmm… will he survive?

Suzaku: He had better or I will-

Not survive? You know that you can't harm me and besides I promised Lelouch that I would put him in my happy place for a couple of days instead of the other door… what do I call it… I can't remember… on with the previous thought… if he would cooperate.

Review please!

Stoona isn't sure if you liked the last chapter except Keychain she knows that Keychain liked it.

Favs and Alerts: 7

Now Stoona understands why people put a number of reviews as a limit before they continue.

Stoona is the type of person that is unsure of herself and needs praise to make up for the way she puts herself down. So please review, but do be honest.


	4. Epilogue: The Beginning of the End

_Warnings__: AU fic! This means there is probably going to be some OOC-ness, though I am trying to make everyone as in-character as possible given the storyline (And I am horrible at keeping people in own personalities, __they live in my mind so their outlook on life changes__). If I start to make any character drastically/annoyingly OOC just let me know and I'll correct it, though if it is specific or dire to the storyline it is not being changed YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Right now there is cutting and the impending doom of a possible death._

_Disclaimer__: I don't own Code Geass. Obviously, if I did… (evil laughter) _

Rate & Review: No flames, I have no beta, feel free to give me ideas (I do not have this prewritten so it is fine) actually I know where I am going now so it is not okay, yeah for four different endings.

Thank you Keychain! First review for last chapter!

…Three reviews in a row… you really love this don't you?

Yes, Zero was a split personality that wants control and live his life in the light instead of the shadows.

Suzaku, sadist? Not really, he was just complying with Lelouch's masochism and cutting side and ohh… he likes pain I didn't want to take the time to prep him…let's ask. I didn't get that much cutting in this story. Stoona sad.

Kallen may have just moved her position to see…

…I did not update twice in one day… you just got to it when I updated…

Shiai10- I don't want you to die because of my sadistic love of cliffhangers. Glad you are interested in it.

MyColdHeart- A revisit? Yay I have your attention! Stoona happy. Hmm… Zero really shouldn't have pushed Suzaku away.

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…Must kill possible plot from Kallen and her employer, this story will end soon…

* * * * * *

Epilogue- The Beginning of the End

"So it is done?" Silky, smooth, a charmer's voice, someone who is used to having their way, she swore that he was smiling.

"Yes, the Prime Minister's son was just grazed, but the teen he was with took the full force of the shot… I am not sure if he will live." She was nervous about what was going to happen. The chuckle that followed surprised her. This man who had contacted her had great influence, but could not weaken the bond between the two countries. His plan was to make Britannia a superpower; in her eyes he was too ambitious. Kallen only did this because of the threat to her family and lover.

"That is fine I have already done my part of the bargain. Your lover and family will not encounter any trouble with the government and you will not be caught. I thank you for your services."

He hung up and leaned back in his chair. His clothes were elaborate, but for one of his standing they were normal. The door creaked open and he looked up lavender eyes surprised when he saw his half-sister, a woman with dark pink hair bordering on magenta, standing there. She looked sad, wounded, as though something terrible had happened. His gut twisted, an ominous feeling settling there, making a nest that it would never leave till the truth was known.

He moved around to the front of his desk in order to properly greet her, but before he could even open his mouth to greet her he found himself with a sobbing bundle of pink. "Euphy?"

Said bundle looked up and burst into tears, her words were incoherent. He sighed wondering what this was about until he caught a name on her lips. "Sch… nei… zel… Le…louch" His insides felt as though they were dropping from his body.

"Euphy? What is this about Lelouch?" Unfortunately at the mere mention of her half-brother's name her sobbing only increased to full-blown wailing. He stroked her pink locks soothingly as he shot a questioning look to the women at the door.

"Lelouch vi Britannia… is currently in critical condition." She choked off, breaking the eye contact she had as her shoulders trembled.

"Cornelia? What happened?"

"…Lelouch was masquerading as a student at Ashford Academy where the Prime Minister's son, Suzaku Kururugi, was going to school. There was a sniper that shot at both of them, Lelouch pushed Suzaku away and took the full brunt of the bullet."

He paled, his body going stiff as he tightened his hold on his younger half-sister. His precious younger half-sibling was shot because of him. "What has father done?"

"Charles had the area where we believe the sniper had taken up a position, but it was already swept and we could not find anything. Father is furious that someone would do that to his precious protégé." Her voice trembled and he could tell that it was taking everything she had not to act like her sister. Cornelia as well as the other siblings of the Britannia line had a soft spot for Lelouch.

"Marianne?"

"Rushed over to be by her children's side through this ordeal."

"Rolo and Nunnally?"

"By all report's not taking it well. Rolo… tried to kill every person that approached Nunnally and… Nunnally is as bad as Euphy. Will I have to replace that shirt?"

"I have another… possessions are replacable, lives are not."

_If Lelouch dies because of me… I will never forgive myself._

At that moment he gave up any and all plans that he had for furthing his countries power.

* * * * * *

Suzaku sat, waiting for word on his lover's condition. He hadn't stopped shaking, twice, twice in one day he had seen that pale body covered in blood. Blood so crimson and skin too white… crimson and ivory had no place on the same person.

Lelouch and he had been taken to his father's personal medical facilities. Facilities meant for use by Britannia and Japan royalty. He knew most of the people here and started as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Suzaku… Lloyd will be here soon to tell you of your friend's condition. How are you holding up?" The young woman with short blue hair asked gently.

"Cecile… not well I'm afraid… I was left alone with him. I was trusted to take care of him. His caretakers trusted me…"

"There is something else bothering you."

"One of his caretakers, a maid, had a bad feeling about today."

"Let me guess, you don't like women's intuition do you?"

"At this moment no…" A beeping noise interrupted him.

"Sorry, I have to go. Take care of yourself Suzaku." She said with such care and thought that he knew that he was not alone in this endeavor. He was distracted by the clicking of boots.

He turned to find Lloyd standing there, a frown upon his normally smiling face.

* * * * * *

…You now get to choose how depressed you wish to be.

I have five ending that I will write out.

1. Depressing

2. Slightly less Depressing

3. Less Depressing

4. Less Depressing with a twist

5. The happy ending.

I will come up with the names when I post them… now to write them…

Stoona is… umm… scared? Zero is staring at her and is threatening… (meep)

Lelouch: (whimper)Serves her right.

Suzaku: Zero! We need her to write the endings! I need to know what will happen to my Lelouch.

Possessive, much?

Zero: **I had better have my happy ending…**

I already had a plan for you. Maybe I should knock it down to four endings… less work for me.

Zero: **Write!**

If you kill me or maim me I will not be able to write so there!

Zero growls, Lelouch goes off to a corner to sob, and Suzaku goes to comfort him.

Review?


	5. Ending 1: Desperation

… I have nicknamed this chapter: Massive Brain Death…

I first want to thank my four reviewers… and to put a warning here… Don't read if you want the happy ending…

Lilyflower1987- …This ending is depressing, read the less depressing ending or the happy ending. This ending they may be together, but not in the way that you wish.

Keychain! You have returned! Stoona so very happy!

Lelouch: She is jumping… (Goes back to his corner to whimper and cry)

…Lelouch… Key-chan (that is what Stoona always calls you in her head) your misunderstandings help me… it makes Stoona realize that she is not being clear enough. Your review for chapter 2 helped me in chapter 3 because otherwise I would never have explained that the Ending of chapter 1 was the nightmare and why it took Zero so long to try and kill Lelouch. Things that are clear to me are not always clear to the readers! That being said collect the big batch of cookies Stoona made for you and your own personal Lelouch… plushy!

Asami-chan37! You have returned as well! And left a nice looong… review!

Suzaku: We can see her self-esteem rising and that sadistic side rejoicing

Lelouch: Words that make that side happy… suspenseful, twist, twisted… angst… why did I have to be her favorite character? (Whimper) And the shadows in her mind are so scary…

He mentioned shadows… I broke him, time to go ask daddy for a new Lelouch.

Suzaku: Fix him!

I'll try… back to Asami-chan… I really liked Suzaku being oblivious and with Sayoko telling him he had no real reason to freak out at the scars on Lelouch's arms and it also clued him in that Lelouch was a masochist therefore the whole 'sadistic' Suzako giving Lelouch pain. Thank you for your compliment on the vith scene. Poor Zero, he didn't know he would be taking the bullet for that course of action. Asumi~chan! Collect you big batch of cookies and Lelouch plushy!

I am bored so this is what happens… I may be losing my steam.

Frightmare will be put on hold so that I may complete this one… No one has reviewed yet so let them wait.

Nusku- I like happy endings to… but sometimes I hate writing them.

_**Warning: **__**ummm… really if you want Lelouch to live… read the other endings stop here and hit the next button… (when I get the next ending up)**_

_**DO NOT READ! If you truly wish for a happy ending!**_

_Warnings:__ Character Death, Suicide_

_Disclaimer__: I don't own Code Geass. Obviously, if I did…_

Rate & Review: No flames, I have no beta… just tell me what you think.

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…Curiosity killed the cat…

Especially this cat…

* * * * * *

Ending 1- Desperation

"Lloyd?" Concerned emerald eyes questioned as terror crept into his very being turning it cold, so very cold.

He shook his head his frown going even deeper. "I'm sorry Suzaku… we did everything we could, but he didn't survive. The bullet nicked his aorta we didn't catch it in time."

"Lelouch…" His voice was broken, brittle, as tears escaped his eyes. Lloyd frowned even deeper somehow he knew that the next week was not going to be a good week for the royal families.

* * * * * *

_My Lelouch is gone… I never even told him how much I loved him…_

_You could join him…_ It was a small voice in the back of his head, but he chose to listen to it.

_How? _Somehow that voice sounded like his Lelouch… his precious Lelouch.

_For the next couple days go up to the roof and lean against the same fence piece…_

_And?_

_Then…_

* * * * * *

Suzaku stood there waiting for the sun to set. His eyes were blank. He felt nothing, only empty, void, null, worthless, vacant, and alone. Without his Lelouch he was nothing, he had done everything that the voice that sounded so much like his precious prince had said.

He heard the voices down below trying to get his attention. Euphy, Nunnally, and Rolo had come to check on him and were now leaving. His smile was vacant, haunted as he raised his hand in a parting gesture, putting his full weight on the fence. It gave way, smiling a true smile as he fell forward as the terrified, frightened, panicked, shocked screams reached his ears.

_Now I will be with you my love._

* * * * * *

To say that the Japan Prime Mister and the Britannian Emperor were having a bad week was an understatement. Their week was horrible, first an attack on Suzaku and Lelouch ending with the 11th prince dying. It was assumed to be an attack from the country they were having the political warfare with. Then there was Suzaku's death two days later, he fell from the roof of a building. The chain-link fence that he had been leaning against gave way and he fell to his death. The wrench that had been used to loosen the bolts on the fence had been traced to a known enemy spy. Those two deaths had given them reason to attack.

That enemy kingdom did not stand a chance, after three days they fell. When they returned it was the final blow to that week. Genbu Kururugi had found his wife dead. She had been unable to live with her only child's death.

Charles zi Britannia had a more crushing blow dealt to him. Cornelia, Marianne, and Schneizel had returned with him from the battlefield and were shocked to find what had happened.

Nunnally had written a suicide note for her and her twin, Rolo, she had asked him to kill when she had gotten the impression that he wanted to kill himself. They could not continue on without their brother and could not live with the image of Suzaku plummeting to his death burned into their minds.

With her children's deaths Marianne vi Brittania, fifth wife to Charles, killed herself in her grief.

Euphemia li Britannia died as well. She poisoned herself soon after the deaths of Lamperouge siblings. With her precious younger sister's death Cornelia committed seppuku for her inability to be there when her younger sister needed her the most and how she had failed her idol, Marianne the Flash. Her lover, her knight, Guilford, followed soon after.

The death that shocked the royal family the most was Clovis' death on the last day of that terrible week. He had painted every single person who had died in the royal family. The narcissist had not even painted himself.

Lelouch was centered at the middle, sitting on a thrown. His mother behind him, she was draped upon him, smiling. Nunnally and Rolo were on either side of him, their heads rested on his thighs. They were all smiling, a beautiful family portrait.

There were more… Euphemia, Cornelia, and Guilford, family, Charles was included in some of them. Euphy and Lelouch, Euphy and Suzaku, and other combinations painted of people alive and dead.

The one that brought tears to the fathers' eyes was the one of Suzaku and Lelouch. Limbs intertwined as though they were one being, a sheet covering there naked forms, hands held tightly, eyes closed in sleep, rose petals and roses surrounding them. Clovis had known what they had been denying for years.

Schneizel lived on with the guilt that had accumulated through the deaths of his half-siblings. His lover and advisor, Kanon, the only one to get him through the rough patches, in the end Britannia and Japan became the superpowers of the world. No one dared to attack the royal family for the enemy country that had been reported to have killed to royals was completely crushed. No hope for that kingdom.

Desperation had driven their actions. Desperate to end the pain in their hearts they killed themselves and others.

* * * * * *

_...sob … sob… _Massive Brain Death…_ Domino Effect!_

_R.I.P._

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…_I was laying in bed when this came to me…_

_Don't hate me… they told me to…_

_I mean the characters in Code Geass…_

_Jeremiah and Sayoko disappeared, it is unsure of what happened to them. They may have died in battle or killed themselves for their failure._

_Next ending: Slightly Less Depressing…_


	6. Ending 2: Don’t Leave

…sob… sob… mew…

That hurt really… really hurt… Stoona is sorry that she wrote that, but…

Zero:** Her sadistic side is smiling.**

Zero has to be nice or he is not going to get his ending…

Now I have not given as much thought to this one as I did with the last ending…

…One ending down three to go!

***cough* beseech *cough***

… four to go.. if Zero stays on this good behavior.

I figured out what broke Lelouch! You remember in chapter 2 how I wrote about putting him in my happy place for cooperating? Well…

Lelouch: Her happy place is worse than that the other door… the shadows... the shadows! (Whimper)

…I think he had a run in with shadows having an orgy… Zero piece him back together for me!

Daddy says that Lelouch will be fine I just have to write the happy ending for him.

_**Warning: **__**ummm… really if you want Lelouch to have a happy ending… read the other endings stop here and hit the next button… (when I get the next ending up)**_

_**DO NOT READ! If you truly wish for a happy ending!**_

_Warnings:__ Umm…_

_Disclaimer__: I don't own Code Geass. Obviously, if I did…_

Rate & Review: No flames, I have no beta… just tell me what you think.

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…Wake up…

* * * * * *

Ending 2- Don't Leave

"Lloyd?" Concerned emerald eyes questioned as terror crept into his very being turning it cold, so very cold.

Lloyd shook his head his lips thinning. "Suzaku… I am sorry. He's alive, but… we lost him for a bit and if he does wake up we do not know the extent of the damage to his brain. Your friend is in a coma. I don't know if he will ever wake up."

Those words seemed to freeze the blood that flowed in his veins. "Can I see him?"

Lloyd nodded, leading him to the room were his lover was being kept. Suzaku gulped what would he find? His lover covered in bandages? That was unlikely it was only a bullet wound. He entered, but the icy grip on his heart would not leave instead it tightened. Beeping, the steady rhythm reached his ears.

He could see the barest movements of that small chest, which he had been kissing, biting earlier. Suzaku moved to sit by his raven, his lover, his Lelouch. His skin was so pale even if he was out of danger he still looked like a corpse. _Don't… don't think that way. He is still alive. He is still with me._

Suzaku never really left his side. He was always there, through the visits of family, through the visits of even his own parents. Always staying there never leaving, his hope soon turned to desperation. Without that hope he wasted away, but he was always by his prince's side. Not even the news that the country that did that supposed to have sent the assassin was destroyed brought him any happiness. The one who brought him joy, happiness, pleasure, and made his very day was in a bed never to awaken.

Lelouch was declared brain dead, a vegetable. Charles and Marianne could not bring themselves to take their son off of life support and send Suzaku through that ordeal.

They moved him and Lelouch to a small cottage away from the public's eye and let Suzaku live out what was left of his days with his love.

Flowers were brought to cheer up the small room. Euphy and Nunnally came by to help clean. Rolo would give moral support and take care of the flowers and small garden. Schneizel would come and continue to apologize to Lelouch for the sin he had committed.

He wasted away, his condition deteriorated until he could not move, but still he stayed by his raven's side. Desperation kept him by that side, there may have been no hope, but still he stayed there.

_I never told him how much I love him._ _I will never leave you as long as you don't leave me._

* * * * * *

That is some commitment, Suzaku.

Suzaku: Don't you dare post the alternative ending.

I won't, but I will tell them the idea…

Suzaku ran away with Euphy…

I don't really like Euphy… I see her as such a girly girl.

She is good for furthering a plot or a caring sister.

Not as a possible companion for Suzaku.

Would you believe that I had to write this with a cat on my lap! It was hard!

Wow… that was short…

_Next Ending: Less Depressing_


	7. Ending 3: He’s awake

Zero:** Her sadistic side is still smiling.**

…Two endings down two to go!

***cough* implore *cough***

… three to go.. if Zero stays on this good behavior.

This could be considered a happy ending! …Somewhat

Lelouch: How much more do I have to take? (sob… whimper)

_Warnings:__ Umm… maiming? _

_Disclaimer__: I don't own Code Geass. Obviously, if I did…_

Rate & Review: No flames, I have no beta… just tell me what you think.

Thank you to the reviewer:

Luckless-is-me: Yes hold out for the Happy ending… I will try my best not to make it depressing.

dhyetaX1999- … There was an option 0? I know that I can be random at times, but that is only during author notes. I try to keep it away from the story… Stoona is confused… are you trying to…(rereading) oh… you are speculating what the with twist is… that makes sense… And the kitty is back… he is fourteen and loves the warm tablet and my lap… that or he is hungry… he has food! Try to double space when changing train of thought in a review or post it helps.

Lelouch: Continue writing you silly cat woman!

Meow?

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…Don't leave …

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Ending 3- He's awake

"Lloyd?" Concerned emerald eyes questioned as terror crept into his very being turning it cold, so very cold.

Lloyd shook his head his lips thinning. "He is not in any danger, but… his right arm is paralyzed and we lost him for a bit so we don't know the extent of the damage to his brain."

"Wait your saying…"

Lloyd broke into a grin as he joyfully slapped him on the back. "He's fine. He should wake up soon and I must say nice job! Those hickeys were quite the piece of work." Suzaku coughed as Lloyd continued. "I must say the Prime Minister's son and the 11th prince of Britannia are quite the couple. I am guessing that you topped. No surprise there your highness looks a little malnourished and like he couldn't run a marathon. Oh my and it looked like the price liked it rou-" Lloyd yelped as a shoe came in contact with his head.

"Lloyd!" One shoe missing Cecile still stood tall, fuming and Suzaku swore that Lloyd was whimpering. She marched over grabbed the doctor's ear and pulled collecting her shoe along the way. Suzaku was left floundering as Cecile apologized over her shoulder for Lloyd's comments and also told him where Lelouch's room was and that he could go see him anytime he wished. So he did.

Beeping, the steady rhythm was the first thing that reached his ears. His head shook instintively as the smell of disinfectant reached his nostrils. It was the smell he hated, the way it clung to the bodies of the dying made him hate medical facilities. He could see the barest movements of that small chest, which he had been kissing, biting eagerly earlier. Suzaku moved to sit by his raven, his lover, his prince, his Lelouch. Skin pale, so pale, even if he was out of danger he still looked like a corpse. _Don't… don't think that way. He is still alive. He is still with me. He will always be with me._

He brushed ebony looks away from closed eyes as he gripped that hand that looked so fragile, but had blood upon it. His left hand, the hand that would be able to move, the hand that would have to learn how to write, learn how to do everything that he did with his right. His face softened as continued to watch his important person sleep. Now that he thought about it… this was not how he was planning to have Lelouch wake up. It would have been preferable that they had woken up entangled together slightly tired from their activities the night before. He only wanted to watch him sleep and when he awakened they would cuddle and trade 'good mornings' to each other.

The delicate hand that he held twitched as a slight moan came from raw lush lips. Pale elegant eyelids fluttered open revealing hazy violet eyes. "Lelouch… you're awake." He sighed in relief, a bright smile taking over his face.

"Suzaku? …why can't I move my arm?" The voice that spoke was small hoarse..

"It's paralyzed… from the shot you received." Suzaku smiled reassuringly as relief lifted the burden that had been weighing on his shoulders.

"I was shot?" Confusion, he didn't remember? Suzaku's mind supplied the answer.

"Zero… took the shot." He stated calmly.

"That is why my sleep was so peaceful? He's dead?" Lelouch sounded relieved. Something that had been tormenting him for most of his life was gone.

"Lelouch I was afraid that I would not be able to say this so I will tell you now… I love you." He felt the tears escape his eyes.

"What is love? …Suzaku who are they?" Lelouch spoke in a whisper. Suzaku turned to see Nunnally and Rolo in the doorway.

Cold, ice gripped his heart.

This was what Lelouch had lost, the meaning of one word and his memories of his siblings.

What else did he lose?

* * * * * *

Sorry, Suzaku.

Suzaku: Lelouch… forgot the meaning of the word love. And he forgot his sibling. You are so cruel.

I know… sorry

Wow… this one is short too…

_Next Ending: Less Depressing with a Twist_


	8. Ending 4: Are you… You?

Zero:** Her sadistic side is still smiling that smirk so evil. Oh… what is she going to do to me?**

…three endings down one to go!

***cough* beg *cough***

… fine… you helped piece Lelouch back together… this is your ending. (Evil laughter)

This could be considered a happy ending for Zero!

Zero: **What are you going to do to me.**

If Stoona does this correctly then… the readers should feel sorry for you…

_**Warning: **__**ummm… really if you want Lelouch to have a happy ending… read the other ending stop here and hit the next button… (when I get the next ending up)**_

_**DO NOT READ! If you truly wish for a happy ending!**_

_Warnings:__ Umm…This chapter stays the same until the point that Lelouch wakes up._

_Disclaimer__: I don't own Code Geass. Obviously, if I did…_

Rate & Review: No flames, I have no beta… just tell me what you think.

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…He's Awake…

* * * * * *

Ending 4- Are you… You?

"Lloyd?" Concerned emerald eyes questioned as terror crept into his very being turning it cold, so very cold.

Lloyd shook his head his lips thinning. "He is not in any danger, but… his right arm is paralyzed and we lost him for a bit so we don't know the extent of the damage to his brain."

"Wait your saying…"

Lloyd broke into a grin as he joyfully slapped him on the back. "He's fine. He should wake up soon and I must say nice job! Those hickeys were quite the piece of work." Suzaku coughed as Lloyd continued. "I must say the Prime Minister's son and the 11th prince of Britannia are quite the couple. I am guessing that you topped. No surprise there your highness looks a little malnourished and like he couldn't run a marathon. Oh my and it looked like the price liked it rou-"Lloyd yelped as a shoe came in contact with his head.

"Lloyd!" One shoe missing Cecile still stood tall, fuming and Suzaku swore that Lloyd was whimpering. She marched over grabbed the doctor's ear and pulled collecting her shoe along the way. Suzaku was left floundering as Cecile apologized over her shoulder for Lloyd's comments and also told him where Lelouch's room was and that he could go see him anytime he wished. So he did.

Beeping, the steady rhythm was the first thing that reached his ears. His head shook instintively as the smell of disinfectant reached his nostrils. It was the smell he hated, the way it clung to the bodies of the dying made him hate medical facilities. He could see the barest movements of that small chest, which he had been kissing, biting eagerly earlier. Suzaku moved to sit by his raven, his lover, his prince, his Lelouch. Skin pale, so pale, even if he was out of danger he still looked like a corpse. _Don't… don't think that way. He is still alive. He is still with me. He will always be with me._

He brushed ebony looks away from closed eyes as he gripped that hand that looked so fragile, but had blood upon it. His left hand, the hand that would be able to move, the hand that would have to learn how to write, learn how to do everything that he did with his right. His face softened as continued to watch his important person sleep. Now that he thought about it… this was not how he was planning to have Lelouch wake up. It would have been preferable that they had woken up entangled together slightly tired from their activities the night before. He only wanted to watch him sleep and when he awakened they would cuddle and trade 'good mornings' to each other.

The delicate hand that he held twitched as a slight moan came from raw lush lips. Pale elegant eyelids fluttered open revealing hazy redder than violet eyes. "Lelouch… you're awake." He sighed in relief, a bright smile taking over his face.

"**Suzaku? …why can't I move my arm?**" The voice that spoke was small hoarse.

"It's paralyzed… from the shot you received." Suzaku smiled reassuringly as relief lifted the burden that had been weighing on his shoulders.

"**I was shot?**" Confusion, he didn't remember? Suzaku's mind supplied the answer.

"Zero… took the shot." He stated calmly.

"**But… I'm Zero.**" Suzaku froze, what happened to his Lelouch?

"Why?" His voice turned cold, hateful.

"**I guess that when I felt the pain I blacked out like before and Lelouch died in my place.**" Lelouch's voice was haughty, laughing even though it was slightly deeper than his lover's voice it was still Lelouch's voice, still his body. "**That bullet had to kill one of us.**"

"Why you?" Suzaku choked as tears fell from his eyes. He had been unable to tell his love those three little words.

"**I can't have happiness… I can't live out my life. I have had to live in Lelouch's shadow, coming out only when I was able to push him aside. I am a person to all I wanted was to live… to be known. Is that too much to ask?**"

_Yes…_

"You should have asked him, not insulted him into a depression… if you had asked he may have let you take over. Did you ever ask?" He was crying, even though Lelouch was alive it was not his Lelouch. He loved Lelouch not this person who was his lover's body.

"**No**."

* * * * * *

Suzaku: I died that day but I took care of Zero for the rest of his days

Zero:** More like you kept me looked up!**

Suzaku: We lived on a lovely island a home away from home.

Zero: **How was I supposed to live if no one was around to talk to. Suzaku looked at me like he wanted me dead.**

Okay you two stop bickering. Happy ending next.

Suzaku & Lelouch: Yes!

Zero: **…I am not in this happy ending am I?**

Maybe?

Four updates in one day… I really want to be done with this one.

_Next Ending: The Happy Ending_


	9. Ending 5: Happiness is in the Eyes

Zero:** Her sadistic side is confused.**

…Stoona's sadistic side does not know how a 'happy' ending is good.

…four endings down one to go!

This is the happy ending!

_Warnings:__ Umm…It's the happy ending does it really need a warning? Suzaku gets hit over the head._

_Disclaimer__: I don't own Code Geass. Obviously, if I did…this might have happened._

Rate & Review: No flames, I have no beta… just tell me what you think.

Reviewers:

Keychain! If your reviews did not make me happy I would not be giving you what is so very special to the royal family… The Lelouch and Suzaku painting from Clovis! (From Ending 1)

Clovis: Enjoy! And you also receive a coupon to order whatever you like for our great family cook… Lelouch!

Lelouch: I hate you Clovis and I hate you Stoona.

…shadows (Lelouch screams in agony and runs to his corner)

Yay! Someone like chapter 5! I was going to beseech people to tell me what they thought after I finished this chapter.

And no, I do not have a DeviantART account, my internet or something is banned I have to ask my friend to make me one… I will probably be Stoona. Are you implying that I should post my stories there? I will have to look you up.

You reviewed for every chapter! That makes me extremely happy.

Note: Writing with a cat on your lap is very hard… I often find myself with two and my laptop all in my lap…

THAT IS DIFFICULT!

Yeah! I am now Miss Sadist! …wait, I wasn't before?

Lelouch: We the people, inside her head have dubbed her sadistic side… S.S. or S2

And yes, Lloyd was just meant for comic relief… I love seeing how other people portray him.

Zero topping… hmm… that could happen, but I don't think Suzaku would cooperate. Would you want to vith with someone that you don't know?

Suzaku: I am in love with Lelouch, not his body.

…really?

Suzaku: It may have been a trivial factor. I love Lelouch's personality.

If Zero topped then it would probably be noncon.

Now Key-chan, collect a pass into Lelouch's bedroom to be used anytime. You may use it to 'borrow' Lelouch's and Suzaku's things, sleep in their bed, and …watch. And take as many plushies as you wish… in any combination of characters.

Clovis: And any other paintings of mine!

/\ /\

w

Insane Blood Prince- you made a return visit as well? Good! I didn't scare you off with my ramblings! So you liked both less depressing endings, yay!

Thank you to luckless-is-me for answering my reply. That makes me feel so special that you took the time to reply to me!

Dhyeta1999- For the misunderstanding and your honesty collect a Lelouch and Suzaku plushy… and a big batch of comfort food from Lelouch. Now I understand Option 0… very creative! I am sorry to say that I am a literal thinker mainly and a dreamer too much of the time that I have a hard time comprehending some things.

You reviewed from a cell phone! That makes Stoona feel so honored, special and… and so… she is very sorry for the misunderstanding!

I know that my grammar is horrible, but I am not the type of person who asks someone for fear of rejection. And anyway a beta reader for me would have to be willing to read the pairings on my profile page and the what I am willing to write for… then there is my longer warnings. If someone wishes to volunteer I would appreciate it.

I may be forgetting a letter off of a word or spaces or… I hate commas and umm… my word choice may confuse some people.

Thank you to those who have stuck with me and my bad grammar!

As for the clichés and cheesiness… I couldn't recognize a cliché to save my life.

The cheesiness… sorry that just kind of happened… you wanted a happy ending right? This is what Stoona gives you… you should expect it.

If I can help it they will not be saying those three words. Because that is so hackneyed, and yes I used it in other chapters.

I am sorry. I think writing so much in such short of time has made me lose my steam and possible creativity. So cheesiness and clichés here I come!

Oh… very little was changed until Lelouch wakes up.

…

…

…

…

… Are you… You?

* * * * * *

Ending 5- Happiness is in the Eyes of the Beholder.

"Lloyd?" Concerned emerald eyes questioned as terror crept into his very being turning it cold, so very cold. It had been two days since the incident.

Lloyd shook his head his lips thinning. "He is not in any danger, but… that shot should have killed him..."

"Wait, you're saying…"

Lloyd broke into a grin as he joyfully slapped Suzaku on the back. "He's fine. He should wake up soon and I must say nice job! Those hickeys were quite the piece of work." Suzaku coughed as Lloyd continued. "I must say the Prime Minister's son and the 11th prince of Britannia are quite the couple. I am guessing that you topped. No surprise there your highness looks a little malnourished and like he couldn't run a marathon. Oh my and it looked like the price liked it rou-" Lloyd yelped as a shoe came in contact with his head.

"Lloyd!" One shoe missing Cecile still stood tall, fuming and Suzaku swore that Lloyd was whimpering. She marched over grabbed the doctor's ear and pulled collecting her shoe along the way. Suzaku was left floundering as Cecile apologized over her shoulder for Lloyd's comments and also told him where Lelouch's room was and that he could go see him anytime he wished. So he did.

Beeping, the steady rhythm was the first thing that reached his ears. His head shook instinctively as the smell of disinfectant reached his nostrils. It was the smell he hated, the way it clung to the bodies of the dying made him hate medical facilities. He could see the barest movements of that small chest, which he had been kissing, biting eagerly earlier. Suzaku moved to sit by his raven, his lover, his prince, his Lelouch. Skin pale, so pale, even if he was out of danger he still looked like a corpse. _Don't… don't think that way. He is still alive. He is still with me. He will always be with me. And he is mine, he is fine._

He brushed ebony looks away from closed eyes as he gripped that hand that looked so fragile, but had blood upon it. His left hand, the hand that would be able to move, the hand that would have to learn how to write, learn how to do everything that he did with his right. His face softened as continued to watch his important person sleep. Now that he thought about it… this was not how he was planning to have Lelouch wake up. It would have been preferable that they had woken up entangled together slightly tired from their activities the night before. He only wanted to watch him sleep and when he awakened they would cuddle and trade 'good mornings' to each other.

The delicate hand that he held twitched as a slight moan came from raw lush lips. Pale elegant eyelids fluttered open revealing hazy violet eyes. "Lelouch… you're awake." He sighed in relief, a bright smile taking over his face.

"Baka! Of course I am! Now… why does my body feel as though Rolo used it for dart practice?" Lelouch had a small smile on his face as he spoke. Rolo loved darts, along with any other sharp pointy object. They both had fond memories of Suzaku's friend Tamaki getting used as a dartboard for playing a practical joke on Nunnally.

"Lelouch… we were shot at. I was grazed and you took the bullet." He stated quietly.

"Is this what he was talking about?" Lelouch sounded sad, gloomy.

"What who was talking about, Lelouch?" Suzaku blinked. He knew he was forgetting something, but he couldn't remember what.

"…Zero. He said that he didn't like the outside world. He didn't like the pain that he always received after her came out. I guess that this was what he meant… getting shot must have hurt. I just have to recover." He sat up carefully trying not to pull the closed wound open. "How are things going in the outside world?"

"You have been out for two days. Britannia and Japan invaded the country that has been accused of sending the assassin. Any and all royals that were in hiding went back to the palace for protection including Nunnally and Rolo. Empress Marianne did not want them out of her sight. I think she would have had you transferred to the homeland if she could have." Suzaku chuckled.

"Did mother actually come here?"

"No, but I did hear that there was quite the commotion about your lodgings."

"I see…"

"Lelouch… there is something that I want to say to you." Their eyes met Suzaku drew closer. "I lo-" He was cut off for his head was reeling as pain blossomed from his cheek.

"Baka! I know you don't need to make this into some sappy moment. You are going to jinx us!" He spat, truthfully he wanted to hear those words. "And besides I thought that actions spoke louder than words." He purred. Suzaku responded by pushing his precious person back onto the bed, climbing over the teen to kiss him gently.

They were disturbed by a breathe laugh. "Now boys, I know that you have hormones, but do wait for his wound to heal or he may just die this time around." The female's voice barely contained her mirth. Suzaku groaned; he recognized the voice.

"Rakshata, I wasn't planning on doing anything." He sighed, why couldn't he be left alone? First Lloyd, now her? Lelouch was right, he had jinxed them.

"Ho ho ho! From my position it did not look like it. You straddling the emporor's dear little prince." She was enjoying herself.

"Get out and lock the door." Lelouch commanded.

"Oh~h I can't stay?" She sounded as though someone was denying her that pipe when she didn't want it in the first place.

"Out!" He shouted, barely moving from his place on the bed.

"Fine… just be gentle with him~!" She closed the door behind her.

* * * * * *

The Empires of Britannia and Japan easily defeated their opponent, crushing that country. Schneizel found out soon after that there was a plot against the hidden members of the royal family. That was the reason that they didn't deny the claim. He lived on with his guilt. The guilt of neatly killing his own half-brother, he did nothing to punish Q1 for it was his own mistake that caused this mess.

Kallen no longer feared the possibility of blackmail. She happily went back to being a bounty hunter with Ohgi and she never told her lover or family that their very livelihood had been threatened.

The royal families declared Lelouch and Suzaku go to an island for Lelouch's recuperation as a favor to the two lovebirds. It was fairly obvious to any and all that saw them that they were in love. The two lovers moved to the deserted island that had a lovely vacation house. They had visitors from their families and a few friends who knew their whereabouts. Lelouch had long since healed and today his big brother had come to say hello and well…

"Schneizel, stop apologizing already! It's getting old. What are you so sorry about? And shouldn't you be with that office lover of yours?" Lelouch asked… more like accused. He was tired and limping and… he was sure he was coming down with something.

"Lelouch… I just apologized over spilling the tea on you." He raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Are you sure you should be up and about?"

"Schneizel, I just managed to get Suzaku to stop babying me. That incident was two months ago…" He trailed off. "Unless that is what you keep apologizing for. You always apologize when you think you hurt me in some way." Lelouch mused. Schneizel stiffened. "You did it didn't you? That assassin was supposed to kill Suzaku not me." Schneizel looked like a kid who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar when he had already had five cookies.

Schneizel sighed. There was no way he was going to live this down so he gave the slightest of acknowledgments.

"I have an idea of what you were trying to do, but for the sake of our family, stop beating yourself up for it. I'm fine. He's fine. A country was destroyed. And between you, Suzaku, father, mother, the rest of the family, and Suzaku's family I don't think I am going to be getting hurt anytime soon." He fumed. It only showed how much he hated being babied. _Only in bed will I be hurt and even then I have to beg. Suzaku only just stopped treating me like I was glass._

* * * * * *

"They're gone, finally! We're alone." Lelouch sighed as he fell onto their bed, completely devoid of clothes.

"Well he has been worried about you." Suzaku stated as he undressed, climbing onto of his raven. He gently started to kiss and nip his way down that pale neck. "Lelouch?"

"Hmm?" Said boy purred, entangling his fingers into chestnut locks.

"I lo- oof!" Suzaku held the side head. "Why can't I finish?" He whined.

"I told you. I don't want to hear those three words. You are going to jinx us. Besides I know what you want to say. I feel the same way. They say that people who truly care about each other need no words to know what the other means. Now shall we continue, you big oaf?" Lelouch was being coy? Suzaku sighed and got back to what he was doing.

To say they lived happily ever after would be a hyperbole.

They lived, but with their families… happily may have been too much to ask. Lelouch and Suzaku spent their days living to the fullest and taking whatever was thrown their way.

They never separated and eventually Marianne let Nunnally and Rolo move in with their big brother. That was when they truly felt it was their happy ending.

* * * * * *

Alternative Ending:

They lived happily ever after…

Until they found out that Lelouch was pregnant. (Evil Laughter)

* * * * * *

S.S: That hurt… that really hurt.

I agree with you. I didn't know writing this ending would be so hard…

S.S.: Well at least we managed to hit Suzaku over the head.

Yeah…

Suzaku: I never got to say-

S.S. & Stoona: Don't you dare!

I hope I didn't disappoint anyone… for some odd reason this was really hard to come up with.

Keychain! I hope that you will visit my future stories… and even if you aren't a writer you could still sign up just to review…

Lelouch: Oh… great. She is sobbing what am I supposed to do about this?

Stoona will miss Key-chan!

S.S.: There there… I am sure that we will meet Keychain again.

…sob Stoona wishes to thank those who have stayed with her and all who have reviewed.

She must also thank Key-chan for she is sure that Key-chan will review again…

Key-chan… that card will get you into any room that Lelouch and Suzaku stay in so feel free to use it!

Suzaku: Why do I feel that I am missing something?

S.S.: By card she means the other links on the Mature page and the room is any other story…

Zero: **What happened to me?**

Oh… right

Zero was reborn as a prince to a neighboring kingdom and lived happily ever after.

Zero: **WHAT!**

What? You didn't want to live happily ever after?

Lelouch: Cut it out.

Baka means idiot…

What did you think?


End file.
